on not taking our own advice – why it may be a good sign

This is a favorite piece from May of 2016.. bringing it back here because it’s still feeling relevant. So many have shared their concerns about testing the waters of intuitive work, feeling drawn but not feeling “ready”.  The truth and the secret is:  there’s no secret, there is just going forth and doing your practice with dedication and honesty. Trust that what you share in the spirit of service will be just what it needs to be.

May you find this useful, and please do comment if you wish!

{{lessons learned from Reading: wisdom from life as an intuitive reader.  Everyone is my teacher.  third in a series.}}

Sooooo… as it turns out,  dear people-who-hold-space-for-and-share-insights-with-others  (intuitives, healers, coaches, just 20140314-065420.jpgdamn good listeners) ~ here’s what a regular practice of self-inquiry and personal awareness will get us sooner or later:

We’ll really hear the words of wisdom we’re imparting, just as they are being carried off on our voices.  (Or later, as we hear them played back in a recording or spoken aloud by the one who heard them first.)

And we’ll ask:

“That’s really good advice …  So why am I not using it myself?”

It can be a little squirmy, getting called out by our own work that way.

At face value, it’s a valid question.

If asked from a place outside our center, or at a time when we’re not “plugged in” to our highest self,  it can trigger a whole layer of culturally sanctioned, second-guessing guilt, or the concern of ‘being a fraud’ that can plague every conscientious practitioner [every one that I  know, anyway 😉]

“Who am I to point you in the direction of a place I’ve never been, myself?  Or to ask you to try something I have yet to try?”

Look beneath that heavy layer, though, and you’ll discover the golden truth of a more subtle and powerful practice ~ one where we are intentionally  allowing ourselves, as conduits, to deliver insights or hits of intuition that are truly for the one to whom we are giving them. One where it’s not about us in that moment, and our ego and identity are removed from the equation.

I’ve come to know it’s a really good sign when we get out of our way so completely, in the act of being the vessel or conduit of “What wants to be known,”  that we are rather unaware of what’s been said – perhaps not even remembering our words afterward.

It’s a sign that ego and the logical mind have been set aside, and we are a part of that which is All-That-Is, in the Highest Good.

But ~ sometimes there will be a message, or a feeling, that registers, that resonates, with us.   And it is meant for us, too.

Here’s the thing:  that doesn’t always mean it’s meant for us to have or use at the same time we’re sharing or receiving it. 

You know the experience of being given a special-to-you book, or of finding a meaningful talisman or other sacred object, only to put it on a shelf, not to visit again for one or five or twenty years… Until the day comes that it is exactly the right thing at the very right time.  It was only put there when it was to let you know, to plant the seeds, to give you the language..  to be the beginning. 

~~ You’ll recognize it later ~~

That we have the language to speak it  is, in itself, something important to note.

Like that book waiting on the shelf, I am certain that knowing and wisdom come through us,  summoned by and for another, to make their mark on our own deeper selves, too.. to be summoned again when it is our time for the understanding.

We are where we are on our very personal journeys and we simply cannot compare them to someone else’s.  We may be in the midst of ‘losing the way to find the way’, or awaiting a missing piece of our puzzles.  We may be having an experience that might have been missed, had we gotten it all figured out ahead and taken our fab piece of wisdom summoned for another.

That something we are seeking may come in useful to ourselves somewhere down the road, maybe a day, a week, or many years is not for us determine now.

Sometimes all that’s needed now is for us to be the Star. 

Trusting that as we shine the light that may guide – we are being guided, also.

Always.  ❤

let’s do . the time warp . again .

{On boundaries, time,  and doing good juju with others.  Plus an epiphany about the value of our work.}

Throughout my 25+ year history of doing intuitive readings and my more recent years coaching, I’ve continuously circled back to an odd relationship I have with with Time.

I’ve known for ages that when I’m in – when anybody is in – the flow of things, the ability to track time in a linear fashion becomes almost non-existent.  During a session,  I’m deep in Kairos time.   (A dear human I spoke to recently made an observation that nicely summed up an experience of Kairos:  “at first, time seemed to be moving slowly, then all of the sudden it sped up and rushed by.”)

When in that all-at-once mode, I have little or no sense of linear “Earth time”  aka Chronos time.    None.  Honestly, I can be looking directly at a clock and knowing it’s “time to wrap it up,”  and still lose track and go right on over.

And not just a bit.

I’m talking (quite literally)  for 30-45 minutes more.  Ninety minutes over is a thing that has happened.  (If you’ve ever had a reading or a session or a class – hell, even a conversation! –  with me, I see you nodding.)  I cringe to admit it, but there it is.

Now, on the one hand – talk about terrific value!   Is this really a problem?  I’ve been asked, more than once.  You’re being a bit hard on yourself.

On the other hand.. boundaries.  I want to stay  aware and mindful of respecting others’ time and energy levels.  I really want to acknowledge the size and shape of the sacred space / container / imaginary realm we’ve created for this work to take place.  😉

I can go at intense levels for long periods of time, and I notice I tend to work with people who do that, too.  However, I can also go right past the edge of my energetic limits before I realize it, and it takes a lot of attention and effort to come back from that.  “Boundary slip”.  (The irony that I am teaching and modeling how to have these energetic boundaries is not lost on me.)

It finally clicked that the even the value part loses some something when energy becomes depleted, or there’s just ‘too much’  (information, energetic shifting, insight, or all of these) or even if there’s just more than what the moment is calling for.  The subtleties get lost, and that’s more than a bit of a shame.

For a long time I took efforts to push back against my nature,  even reproaching myself for having such a character flaw.  (Guess how well that worked?  A-yep!)  I know now that I was entirely missing the point.

As my awareness of my own and others’ boundaries evolved, I came to understand that the key is to accept this part of my true nature, and find ways to allow for it and work along with it.

So, conversations will go long.  (Sometimes.)  But that’s no longer something I’m going to beat myself up about.

I’ll let people know ahead  that I want to be mindful and respectful of their energy + time, while also letting them know I am capable of losing track, and that I trust and respect their sovereignty and ability to maintain for themselves (and speak up when needed.)

I’m trying out additional new ways to work that don’t set me up for a time warp situation.. early experiments with written or recorded messages – where there’s a back-and-forth, but not simultaneous, exchange of information and insight – have worked surprisingly well. (Surprising maybe only to me; I was put off by the idea not too long ago and wouldn’t have given it a chance. Interesting!)

Sitting and listening to what wants to be known, and then passing this over to the fab human I’m connecting with so they can do the same in their own time, respects boundaries and the work.

Of course there will still be real-time conversations, that doesn’t need to stop. (That may be obvious, and all the same it’s a relief to acknowledge it.)   However, allowing for some of this-AND-that?  Might just be the way to allow for my weird and precious nature, and be here-on-this-Earth-plane, too.

If you are one who struggles  grapples with  wants to find peace on Earth with your not-Earth-time nature, I see you.

whatever clockI believe we’re not alone 😉

special thanks to Donna, who upon seeing this post promptly took a photo of an actual clock on an actual wall at her house and sent it to me.  Ha!


[*UPDATE, 1/20/16  – In circling back to edit this post, I received a little jolt of truth regarding how I spoke about value – particularly the value of the intangible, meaningful work that occurs in connection with one another:  In tying it to length of time spent, I was viewing “value” as a measure of quantity (and an arbitrary one at that!) rather than honoring what I consider to be the true measure, quality.

I’d have sworn up and down that to me it’s always been about the quality – about “presence, honoring, listening, compassion, and being of service in the highest good for all”..  And yet, there was the evidence that I might have been believing a bit otherwise.

If you’re reading this, I’m sure you are one who experiences  flashes of insight and knowing, or ‘loss of time’ to deep creative flow (or both) – and you’re grokking this time/value conundrum.  It’s embedded in the culture.

More to discuss!]

on right-and-perfect timing: the drop of water and the snowflake.

the single drop of water
does not in the summer say
“i must form myself into a perfect snowflake,
define my edges and my shape.”
it does not think
“i need to get myself up into the air, into a cloud – any cloud – and go there”
the snowflake that exists in the drop of water already knows the truth of its own self
the truth of perfect – right –  timing, too..
of the convergence of elements
of the rising up of all the other drops of water,
the movement toward the place where it will be released
to float gently toward its new place on the earth.

the single snowflake does not in the winter say
“a perfect drop of water i must become..”


drops of water – transitioning – their form