on not taking our own advice – why it’s a good sign

It’s a common thing to wonder, upon hearing good words coming out of our mouths (or listening to them afterward, played back to us):

“That’s really good advice …  So why am I not using it myself?”

This question is so common that there’s a often a whole layer of culturally-20140314-065420.jpgembedded self-questioning guilt and concerns of ‘being a fraud’ that can come right along with it.  Who am I to point you in the direction of a place I’ve never been, myself?  Or to ask you to try something I have yet to try?

This is not about advice that’s ground- level common sense (and definitely not about a hypocritical ‘do is I say not as I do’ attitude!)

It’s more subtle, about allowing ourselves, as conduits, to deliver insights or hits of intuition that are truly for the one to whom we are giving them.  It’s not about us in that moment, and our ego and identity are removed from the equation.

I believe it’s a really good sign when we can get out of our way so completely, in the act of being the vessel or conduit of “What wants to be known,”  that we are rather unaware of what’s been said – perhaps not even remembering our words afterward.  It’s a sign that ego and the logical mind have been set aside.

But sometimes there will be a message, or a feeling, that registers ~ resonates ~ with us .. meant for us, too.

Here’s the thing:  that doesn’t always mean it’s meant for us to have or use at the same time we’re sharing or receiving it. 

I know you’ve had the experience of being given a special-to-you book, or of finding a meaningful talisman or other sacred object, only to put it on a shelf, not to visit again for 10 or 15 or 20 years… Until the day comes that it is exactly the right thing at the very right time. It was only put there when it was to let you know, to plant the seeds, to give you the language..  to be the beginning. 

You’ll recognize it later.

That we have the language to speak it is, in itself, something important to note.

Like that book waiting on the shelf, I am certain that knowing and wisdom come to us and through us,  summoned by and for another, to make their mark on our own deeper selves, too.. to be summoned again when it is our time for the understanding.  We are where we are on our very personal journeys and we simply cannot compare them to someone else’s.  We may be in the midst of ‘losing the way to find the way’, or awaiting a missing piece of our puzzles.  We may be having an experience that, had we gotten it all figured out ahead and taken our fab piece of wisdom summoned for another, might have been missed.

That something we are seeking may come in useful to ourselves somewhere down the road, maybe a day, a week, or many years is not for us determine right now.

Sometimes all that’s needed right now is for us to be the Star. 

Shine for the love of shining a light.

our own way: getting out of it

what wants to be known - will be shown to you on the path you're already on{{lessons learned from Reading: wisdom from life as an intuitive reader.  Everyone is my teacher.  second in a series.}}

~~ This post was first published July 2012 with the title “Your Own Way: How to Get Out of It” ~  bringin’ it back here because wisdom from Mom is timeless!~~

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Back when I was a green-newbie at the whole “doing intuitive work for other people” thing, [*cough* twentyoddsomethingyears ago] my mother told me something I now know would be one of the most useful instructions I would ever receive in my life:

“… just remember to get out of – stay out of – your own way.”

Instinctively, I got it:

I had already had the felt experience of being compelled to say certain things whenever I was working with someone, when I’d known from a place of calm what wanted to be said (though often it made little sense to me, personally!) When I followed that “compelled to say” feeling, it was always right on the mark. Made perfect sense to them. Bingo!

Always.

Intellectually, though, I’d mess it up:


At times I’d feel “compelled to say” something, then hesitate a beat too long – and those logical left-brain know-it-alls (dear things!) would rush in to edit, to make it “sound better.” And.. it would go flat, and the simple and patient bit of truth that was finding its way to flow in would, instead, flow on by. (“bye-bye!”)

To be sure, I had a perfect classroom of sorts. Nothing like immediate feedback from another person to show me – over and over again- that the calm/knowing feeling that accompanied some odd-sounding ideas was the wanted feeling. The helpful, useful, right feeling. Delicioso.

And that feedback showed me, too, that the impulse to override or think I “knew better” from a place of intellect was, while not necessarily being a wrong feeling, tinged with urgency and reactiveness and not even a bit delicious.

As I learned to notice these two distinct states – calm/knowing vs. reactive impulse – as they occurred, I realized I could choose which way to go each time. Toward “delicious,” of course!

Making the choice to follow calm/knowing is ~ us, staying out of our own way.

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{{upcoming topics: why it can be a good sign when we don’t take our own advice (!), and getting feedback when you’re the only one you have to ‘practice on’}}

send it back to solid earth.

{{lessons learned from Reading: wisdom from life as an intuitive reader.  everyone is my teacher. first in a series.}}

 

I have learned…

No matter how good the flow, or how powerful the connections made, spent energy just requires replenishment. In fact, the better we are at replenishing, the more ease and presence we’ll naturally have to sustain us (and, particularly when doing our work, to share with those around us.)

I cannot underestimate – though I often do – the real-ness and importance of grounding, clearing and cleansing. It’s really easy to overlook these intangible needs… And yet, at the end of the day of intuitive work (or weekend, as I am right now 😊) the mushiness of the brain and the difficulty forming coherent speech leaves some pretty big clues about their necessity.

In the tradition of losing the way to find the way, I’ve noticed that feeling ungrounded or even untethered shows me the value of finding my anchor again. Being properly connected helps me feel more “real,” down to earth and comfortingly present. Life is in proper perspective, and there is more ease in my connections and conversations with people around me.

Getting grounded at the beginning of the day, or before any kind of intuitive or healing practice, gives us a level, solid place that we can return to throughout the day. Keeping in touch with ourselves as we go and being mindful of our needs – physical, mental, emotional – helps us stay steady and anchored and allows us to keep moving forward, rather than becoming depleted and having to stop to regroup.

“Grounding” really is as simple as that – I think of electricity flowing through and being directed into the earth, so that it can be reabsorbed.. neutralized, in a way. Whatever rituals we have that allow us to connect with the earth, to visualize ourselves releasing excess energies, or to simply feel more connected, anchored, and present in our bodies will accomplish this.

Bare feet on solid earth. Savasana (“corpse pose”).. flat on the back in complete surrender. Visualizing the self as a tree, feet as roots deep into the ground, and arms as branches reaching to the sky, connected and thriving. Steady beat of drum, rhythm of heart, rhythm of breath. Ebb, and flow.  Allow yourself to be truly seen by wise wild creatures (and yes, those ones with whom you live.)  Dance. Be still.

A subtle, powerful benefit of maintaining good grounding is the ease with which we can deflect unnecessary or unhelpful energies and frequencies – like a screen that keeps out the insects but allows in the fresh air and sunshine. (and that is what good boundaries are about, right?)

“That which is for me shall be with me.. that which is not shall pass on by.”

Tell me, what do You do for your own grounding ~ connecting rituals?

with appreciation – Kathleen

{{next in lessons learned from Reading series: clearing and cleansing. And this classic: Getting Out of Your Own Way }}