hold the door.

“Hold the Door.”

for those who came in before me and those who came in after. 

hold the door - copyright Kathleen McGloin

You were here to greet me, coming in
and share this place with me: my family. my friend.
When it is time for you to move on again,
I’ll hold the door for you: a parting, but never an end.
 
I am here to greet you, coming in,
and walk you through like those before;
and when it is time for me to move on,
my family, my friend!
hold the door, please, hold the door!
thank you.”
 
~ with most reverent love and honor ~ Kathleen


{this piece was written in 2009 for the anniversary of a friend’s passing, and shared privately from time to time after… there have been a more than a few very dear ones who’ve left us in recent months I’ve wished to quietly honor in this way, but this is the first I’ve shared it openly. These words came from – were a gift of – grace, and are the closest to my heart, and I still well up every time I read them.  If they touch you and you wish to share, please do so with my blessing;  I only ask that you include this attribution:  © 2009 Kathleen McGloin   – or direct back to this page.  😉  }

the actual beauty of “false” hope.

shining through.
shining through.
I’ve had up-close experience with a few intense situations in the last many weeks.

Some, dire.

Critical illness, death and dying, life-changing decisions, rites of passage. Life, unfolding.

While these circumstances weren’t mine, I was involved by my proximity, my relationships, my presence. Heart, fully engaged.

Sometimes a witness, a watcher, or someone’s “person.” (I accept this as one of the great honors of my life, always completely draining me and completely filling me up with love at the same time.)

The nature of each different situation contained within it a delicate filament, a common thread, of Hope.

Hope that things would get better, that they’d turn out differently, that there would be a miracle that changed everything.

Remember, though – I said “dire”.

In the face of dire, “hope” can look more than a little like “denial.” And so hope is pushed against, shelved, found potentially harmful (maybe even dangerous.) Labeled “false” to make it undesirable and unsought-after.

I agreed with all that. It felt like the smart thing to do. I could see from a broader vantage point where things were really headed, so I nodded and comforted but quietly Knew Better. (Quietly, because I feel true-ness in the adage “Do not take someone’s hope away from them, for it may be all they have.”)

When the heart is allowed to take back over from the head, though, wisdom just might return. (Thank goodness!) I’ve had a lot of that these past many days.

So, today, I no longer agree. I don’t Know Better than to kindle “false hope.” Because I saw something happen when hope arrived, false or otherwise:

A deep breath, taken.
Or a breath held, exhaled.
A tailspin into fear, leveled off.

A step back just far enough to find footing and a moment of calm.

It only takes an instant, and the trajectory changes. Love can get in, choices can be made, presence can return.

Then we can be there for whatever happens next, with our honest pain and humanity, with the people we love.

Now, I get it.

THAT is the actual beauty of “false” hope.

emptied. filled up.

On this date, ten years ago, my last Significant Other relationship ended. There have been none since. Cry not “foul!” –  for I do not:  The simple “I can’t” that came in the face of my great need, hope and expectation was, I know now, the most honest… uh, something.  Yes, with colossally poor timing […]