Month: October 2010

would I even want to read this?

Kathleen McGloin3 Comments

I decided not to post a blog for my blog class homework this week.

Not because I didn’t have an idea (have too many) or because I didn’t have anything written down (got pages and pages!) It was the sinking realization that some of my life-long writing habits were strangling the words on their way to getting written. So much stuff and the compulsion to say it just so. I’m not even doing my blog class exercises properly… two minutes into free-writing, I stop the timer so I can just keep going-going-going. For hours.

But blogging is not about that, right? Isn’t it a perfect medium for the short-and-sweet, the passing thought or observation, the quick laugh and the “hey, look at this?” Does my writing always need to be a carefully-honed philosophical epiphany of over-edited ideas? (like that sentence?)

I’m in the midst of a sort-and-purge project, unearthing and reading things I wrote 15-20 years ago, and I’ve discovered I often wrote the same way then, too. (Copies of rather serious letters to family or exes? I kept ’em. Yes, that’s my idiot flag flapping high in the wind over there.)

So, I decided not to post. Said: “okay, here’s my bad habit. Habits. Found ’em, gonna examine them, and not gonna post this week until I. Get. It. I’m gonna be accountable to myself.”

Ohhhhhrrrrright.

After a moment of silence rose the question that’s needed to be asked for a damn long time:

Would I even want to read this?

What is it about the blogs (and the authors) that we love to read?

There’s one I like because it’s often super-short and pointed and sparks an “oh, I see” most every time. There’s another that uses a handful of individual sentences to support a single idea. Clever craft.

Other favorite blogs are funny. Helpful. Sophisticated without being pretentious. Thoughtful without overthinking. Knowing, kind, poignant, touching or witty. I like edginess and irreverence and a good sense of the ridiculous, too. I enjoy reading many different kinds of blogs; I am interested in many different things. One or two tend to ramble and go a little off subject; I give them a chance because I read fast and don’t mind a couple extra minutes if it means finding something good. And smart – they’re all smart, and talk to me in a way that assumes I am as well. They don’t require a huge commitment and seem to respect that I might want a lot from them and only have a little bit of time. Mostly, they’ve been there and get that I have, too.

The best are like being with a friend for a chat or a cup of coffee or a laugh – you just feel better. It’s a good spot in your day.

Oh.
OH.

What I love to read … is how I want to write.

Those characteristics I love and want to embrace in my own writing? They’re also the characteristics of my beloved reader – my ideal reader. (Figuring that out was the second part of my homework assignment… looks like I did it after all. Fleepin’ accountability.)

One other thing, about my old writings: I’d also kept copies of the good bits, too. Funny stuff, the kind that made people laugh, then, and still makes me smile, now.

This I will share with you, my Dear Reader.

This, even I would want to read.

our weaknesses, our friends.

Kathleen McGloin2 Comments

I’ve noticed much said lately about Weaknesses – or rather, much is being said about trying to get around weaknesses to go straight for the more desirable Strengths.

“Strength to strength.” “Downplay your weaknesses.” I even came across the odd idea of “opposing strengths” which doesn’t dare use the “w” word (kind of like not saying “Voldemort.”)

We’re not talking about those things we have a weakness for, such as chocolate, or eyes-that-make-you-melt (“Oh, valley of temptation into which I willingly go…”) We’re talking cringe-worthy, hide it from your best friend, hide it from Your Self, weaknesses that make us feel unworthy or vulnerable. Or “not as-good-as.”

I’m going to step away from the crowd and gently propose this: that our weaknesses may be there to be our greatest allies. That they can be a mirror in which we see our strengths reflected – a way to identify, clarify, and draw defining edges around them.

Our weak spots are the high fragile rope bridges we must cross between the shores of solid ground. Crossing these bridges makes us more careful, more attentive, and more deliberate… and sometimes affords us a magnificent view and a shorter path to our destination.

When we can see our weaknesses as integral parts of the whole picture, they simply become the parts that need attention and TLC to be brought into alignment with the strengths.

Weaker spots and imperfections can be found in most any structure, especially one that’s been around for a while (ok – one that has a little age on it!) We investigate for weaknesses on purpose by routine – think of building or health inspectors – with the intent of improving, repairing, and increasing the strength of the whole.
Why not do the same on a more personal level, lessening our discomfort (and the possibility of retreat) with the objectivity of a deliberate inspection? A Self-Inspection, checklist and all? (Yes, you may burn that checklist when you are done!)

Defining weaknesses in this way allows us to determine what we don’t do well, so we can flip it and see what we do do well. I’ll share just such a clarifying moment: Most of my current work life is in hospitality and events and festivals, and one recent evening spent in a crowded atmosphere of loud music, activity and sensory overload – the way I used to work all the time – brought my weaknesses right back up to the surface. I felt like a part of a fast-moving machine where speed and efficiency were the only qualities of value, and I was going all-out just to keep up. Discomfort, indeed.

As the night came to an end, though, and I was reflecting on what I did not want – to work from my place of weakness – I suddenly realized where my strengths are: I’m at my best when I can connect and engage one-on-one and have meaningful conversations. I love to help you find answers to your questions, share your quest for good food and good experiences, and be part concierge, part tour guide for you. Oh, yes, that’s what I’m good at, and thank you, weakness, for showing me the light!

We simply cannot be made only of strengths and still get something out of being human. When we can see our strengths as tools we use to learn and grow, and see weaknesses as our lessons and teachers, we can also understand that they are not opposites at all – just perfect and different parts of a perfect whole. If it’s true that we become “stronger in the broken places” – then maybe our weaknesses can become our strongest places of all.

After all – what defines anything as a strength, or a weakness, is just a judgement.